Paranormal Activity and The Walking Dead are two films that have scared me s***less, and just to add to the embarrassment, I haven't even seen them. It took maybe two minutes of advert to reduce me to a quivering sweating wreck lying in my bed that night, wearing an expression that would have made a rabbit caught in headlights collapse to the floor in helpless mirth. I can't deal with them at all. But isn't that meant to be how they make their money? Slightly strangely, the original idea of horror films, as far as I can work out, was to induce an adrenalin rush with frightening scenes, which leaves the viewer on a bit of a high, as it were. Like drugs, you'd get addicted to them, the film producers make money, you get enjoyment which doesn't wreck the inside of your nose or... elsewhere... and in general everyone's happy.
So what's the point of watching the sixth film about a man with a diseased mind setting up a nice little games with his friends which, probably due to immaturity on the part of the friends, always seem to end with gruesome deaths and our diseased friend muttering "Game Over" to himself in a disappointed way which never seems to sufficiently reflect on the intestines that can be found dangling from the chandelier, if we're not even getting excited by it? Sorry about the unnecessarily long sentence, but what I'm getting at is if scary films aren't scary, they're a bit pointless.
My theory is that, while I'm undoubtedly at the shallow end of the gene pool when it comes to dealing with scary films, other people have been bred to watch them and giggle. Which makes me look a bit like a pussy*, everyone else look a bit bored, and the film makers look a bit poor.
Footnote: If my sister reads this, she will inevitably point out that mutants are people affected and altered during their lifetime, while what I'm talking about is more selective breeding. But can you imagine the Teenage Selectively Bred Ninja Turtles? Just wouldn't have the ring. So mutant it is.
*Which I am, but we must HIDE this.
No, a mutant is someone born, er, mutated. A cripple is someone who is altered during there lifetime. You were right first time round :P
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