Hey, don't you diss MY royal family.

Hurray! Let's party! I know, I know. The Royal Wedding was yesterday. And I forgot. And lots of people have mistook my loudly proclaimed forgetfulness as a sarcastic announcement that I couldn't give a s***. Or rather, did give a s***, negatively. As disturbing as the mental image of a negative s*** is (ingrowing toenails ain't got nothing on this), the fact is I do give a s*** (I know, I'm overusing the word. Only a couple more). I'm just s*** forgetful. For any of you who've just taken a knock to the head, you're not seeing stars, I'm just profanitising.

Right, look, I'm not the sort to hang Union Jacks out my bedroom window and shed salty tears of admiration over a William and Kate mug, but I do think we owe these people a certain amount of respect. They're a Prince and Princess now, part of our royal family. And even though we all known the royal family is really a figurehead monarchy, they're still meant to mean something to us. Because they represent Britain, or England, or whatever you want to think of it as. We're meant to be proud of them. If anyone insults them, from our country or elsewhere, we go along merrily and invade them. Because we know our country's the best country in the world, and even if we sometimes wouldn't like to admit it, we love it.

I'm not talking all out lets-go-die-for-our-country patriotism. Not even walking along the street waving a flag and singing the national anthem. Just not the cynical, sarcastic way we always seem to talk about anyone in a position of authority. I hear you gasp in horror, but don't worry, I will return to cynicism and sarcasm later, I just think there's a time and a place for it. And this isn't it.

From what I can work out, there's four attitudes towards the royal family, and also government in general: 1) God, they've made a mess, I hate them all, has anyone seen my pitchfork? 2) Come on, look, other people have it worse off, wheelie bin collection isn't that pivotal to human survival. 3) Geez, I'm a turtle, why would I give a fuck? 4) -Sings national anthem loudly- LET'S GO INVADE SOMEONE :D.

The first view I can't relate to at all. If we can't help but criticise our own government, what do you think everyone else in the world is doing? The government's job, as much as looking after us, is to keep us there with the top countries. And how they going to do that if we're all having a right laugh at them and being bitchy with the first person we can grab. People who openly protest about what the government are doing that afternoon ninety nine times out of one hundred are doing it because it might help them hit the power jackpot. And our countries never going to keep up if there's always someone having a go.

The second is slightly better, but still annoys me. Why should we have to look at kids so starving they look look like drums made out of rib cages to find anything good about ourselves? The most recent statistic I could find was from 2008, so you might have to forgive me for being a couple of places out, but in 2008 we were the sixth richest country in the world. And that's out of 195/196. So we really don't have that much to complain about, and the attitude of complaining about it shouldn't be one we're even considering in the first place. So let's go blow a few million on a fancy wedding for some people we're meant to be fiercely loyal to.

-Editors note- This blog isn't actually written for turtles, and the third point of view expressed was placed their by the writer simply, and I quote "For the crack".

The fourth point of view, while to some extent slightly exaggerated is what we should be going for. I'm not saying we should put the open sign back up on the old empire idea, just maybe not complain so much. About absolutely bloody everything. And maybe hang up a few flags here and there. Go to any other country, even Scotland or Wales, as close as that, you'll see flags all over the place. Yet someone the other day was trying to convince me that putting up a flag was racist. The sad thing is I'm not even joking.

Which brings me on to my penultimate point, that the boundary between "Patriotic" and "Racist" has become a little foggy, because the last thing I want to look like is a Griffin wannabe. When I say we should remember we're the best country in the world, I don't mean that makes anyone lower than us, in any way. They can have their country, we can have ours, the two can mingle completely, and it shouldn't even be noticed as a prominent detail that someones a different colour or race. At the end of the day though, they can be proud of there country, and we can be proud of ours, and we can spend many happy ours arguing thus. Cos arguing fun.

Anyway, your eyes are probably getting tired by now, and my keyboard definitely is. And I have English to do. So, to sum up in typically anti-climatic style, yeah.