Correct. This post is named jointly after a biblical character and modern poet. The reason? Because I bring news of a prophet. I am prophecising a prophet, you could say*. That prophet is Michael, or to you MickayC. He not only pre-empted me so long ago** when I was internally debating the possibility of creating a blog, taking the cyber baton and leading the field in electrical publishing, but has done so again in being the first of us to create a second blog.
I would strongly encourage you read his second blog. It's called Stand Up Beside the Fireplace***, and is an excellent counterpoint to his light-hearted, whimsical and extremely funny 3 Year Old Trapped in a Teenager's Body. The plan is that it will allow his debut blog to remain light-hearted, whimsical and extremely funny while the broodings of a moody adolescent can be successfully diverted. Diverted is the wrong word to use, I don't mean to say that they aren't a good read. To understand any teenager you need to hear about the good bits and bad bits. If you'll forgive me for sounding dramatic, Michael speaks for the entire 13-19 year old world about emotional issues the rest of us don't have the guts to share. It's brilliant.
Alas, I sounded a bit like a reviewer there. Now, to the news I wish to bring, my new blog. In itself that statement was an inaccuracy (One of very few in this blog. Not), as while it will sail under my banner (The creation of an entire google account proved to strenuous for my lazy cranium), it mainly belongs to my uncle. My uncle has shown interest in blogging in order to "get down with the kids". His use of the phrase indicates the necessity thereof, if you catch my drift. I have not yet asked permission to reveal my uncle's name to the world (All seven of you following this), so let us for now call him John. The blog was originally going to be named Grumpy Young Men, and be a general moan at life, albeit a humorous and sarcastic one, but we've changed our minds and as per an excellent suggestion from him, it's going to be called "Agony Uncle", with Grumpy Young Men demoted to tagline. I hope I don't have to explain the title and layout of the blog, I really do value the intelligence of my readers. So, I'll get cracking then. You can have the link in a couple days when we get the final details sorted.
In explanation of the slightly strange title of this post (For those of you less well versed in Christian teaching, Zephaniah was a minor prophet amongst many, possibly hundreds), I chose Zephaniah because it brought to mind a crossword clue me and Michael (We're quite the pair, he's coming up a lot in this post, isn't he?) solved (Naturally). It read "Biblical prophet/modern poet", obviously referring to previously mentioned Zephaniah and Benjamin Zephaniah, a Jamaican poet from Birmingham (What the hell, it's late, I only had a chance to quickly scroll down his wikipedia). Can I just say that I'm using so many parenthesis' because after a while footnote markers take up more space than the actual footnotes. If I'd continued with them in this post, I'd have reached **********, which looks more like a profanity than a footnote. Coming back round to the subject, Zephaniah was just a little mental connection I made, which is apparently something I need to stop doing. According to my source of worldly wisdom and knowledge of every subject (Dad.), such little neural rushes are one of the reasons for my insomnia****. My mind flitters from one subject without bothering to stop, giving it no time to rest and fall asleep. For instance, the mere mention of prophets brought me to remember a strange incident earlier today when I was given a prediction that a flood would claim the earth, and that I, Jacobia (Not even my proper extended name), would have to build a boat (A slightly copycat announcement, I thought). Actually, I'm just the man, I have a book on building boats. No word of a lie. I can show you it if you like. I got it for my tenth birthday, the same birthday I received the GCSE Usborne Dictionary of Science, which is currently lying on the shelf above my bed, which reminds me, OH SHIT, I have to do my science homework. You see? While this took me several minutes to write down, it flickered through my brain far too fast for me to fall asleep, although in this case the flickering was quite useful, as I have no wish to fall asleep, and it alerted me to my science homework. About that. It doesn't exist mum and dad, so don't you start getting naggy. It's mention was purely for demonstrative effect. Not really, I need to get it done fucking now.
Oh, one other thing. I'm aware Ruthenium Witters has recently written about basically the same mind flickering, I wouldn't want her to think I wasn't reading her posts. She reminded me I was planning to write about it, so, erm... well done her. Oh my god, not another prophet
*Not strictly true. I am bringing word of a prophet with whom I have had encounters. Retrospectively prophecising a prophet, perhaps. I would include this in the main text, but I get the feeling this post is going to be long enough as it is. Another hitch in my reasoning is that Michael hasn't predicted anything, merely emulated my exact actions several days in advance. Much easier, obviously.
**Okay, the Easter holidays.
***http://subtf.blogspot.com/
****Just as a disclaimer, he only mentioned this theory once, and this was as a passing comment many years ago. He probably doesn't remember, and I detect he might be getting annoyed at me publishing blatant lies as his "Opinions". This is simply how I interpreted what he said. Although I can hardly be blamed if I was wrong, he should be more careful about what he says to nine year olds. I spent most of my childhood believing my full name was Wajacob Bradley, all because of him.
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